Tan-bloody-tastic!!

Yesterday was my little Nephew's Christening. Why does nothing go as planned? It took all week trying to find the perfect outfit, bag, accessories. I was even talked into buying and using fake tan, now i like my Albino look but it's "not in" apparently. So i went and got myself some L'oreal Sublime bronze fake tan, some exfoliater and some moisturiser.

Armed with my tanning products i headed home to take a nice long bath and exfoliate. Half way rubbing what felt like sand into my body my hands started to feel numb. I must admit my skin felt nice and smooth but god it takes it out of ya. Next step is to moisturise and apply the tan whilst moisturiser is still wet. At this point i had to call my sister up to help me "i'm scared" i said to her and she started laughing at me. "This tanning malarki is hard bloody work!". I have never done this before, but apparently i should as i was wearing a dress. My legs are that white they reflect the sun! "I best not look like i have been tangoed!" i said.

After the hard job of applying the see through gel tanner. I put some shorts and vest on and walked like John Wayne the whole night waiting for the damn stuff to dry.

"Am i brown yet?"

"NO!"

"am i brown yet?"

"for gods sake!"

Sunday morning i got up and took one look at my legs and arms, OMG OMG OMG OH...MY...GOD! I was like a patchwork quilt! I had missed bits everywhere. How the hell? What am i going to do? I looked like i had been dipped in curry!

I showed Simone and she said that she had a solution, she had instant fake tan that we could use to cover up the patches. EEEEEK my face! I actually looked that i was wearing a mask, Phil said that i looked like John Travolta on the film "Face Off", gee thanks babe!

Anyway, i managed to cover up all the patches and was looking a little bit better. So i started to get ready. Phil had offered to help with the buffet by picking it up from the restaurant and taking it to the venue, but the restaurant was running late and so was Phil. So Phil didn't get back until late and we missed the Church part. Ah well, drinking part next, we managed to get there on time either way.

We were expecting to be there all night, but it finished at 7pm, so i was pretty gutted about all the girlie effort i put in just for a couple of hours! Anyway, we went home and ordered some Chinese food and watched a film.

This morning when i got up i was even tanner!! OH NO! It's gotten worse! What the hell am i going to do? I ran the bath urgently and jumped in with scourer sponge in one hand and that sand like exfoliater. De-Ja-Vu with the girlie stuff again, i started scrubbing away at my newly tangoed body and it was not budging! I must have scrubbed 20 layers of skin off and it was not coming off!!

After a 30 min soak it started to come off slowly. I am still patchy but at least it has faded slightly. Looking at the pictures, it looked ok, so thank god. Next time, i think i will keep my Albino look - after all, pale is the new TAN!